2019

Dear lover,

I’m trying to visit all the places my mind takes me…

before time takes me

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Updating you

Dear Lover.

Why do you always have your way with words?

 

COLLECTION 009: (MUSIC THAT SPEAKS)

LaSauce – I Do Ft Amanda Black

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1:03am

Dear Lover,

I’m up thinking about how the beginning of this year started for me. I remembered how eager I was to start my own company, but due to fear, uncertainty, the fact it was going to be in a different country and also not having everything figured out; I completely stop thinking about it and I stopped working towards it. Every now and again thoughts of what could have been would cross my mind. Although the year is running out, it’s fair to say I’m glad I stopped for a while, to unlearn, rethink and fall in love again with this idea of mines. The passion has rekindle and I’m back to obsessing about it. I really do believe this is “my calling” lol yeah I know very cliché, but seriously, I really want to allow myself to see this through; to actually let go of my doubt and allow myself to mingle with the possibility of failure. (afterall, failure and amateur entrepreneur go hand in hand)

When I first thought of the idea, the location and what I was trying to achieve; everything seemed so much easier and plus I had such an amazing person helping me, but then I got to the stage where I felt “well this is nothing new, not innovative enough, many people already have businesses like this” and just like that I shut everything down.

Perhaps I expected too much too soon, I know for sure that I did allow other people’s opinion to affect what I truly wanted to do. I payed attention to people’s feedback a lot (maybe I wasn’t supposed to do that so soon) and then I wanted to explore so many creative ideas that financially I wasn’t ready for. I think a combination of many things definitely did scare me away from an idea (not so new) that I truly wanted to bring to life. I wholeheartedly want to give it another shot because the most important reason I wanted a company of my own to begin with was to help other people and that’s where I’ll start from, that should be my motivating point “helping others”. I’m excited again, this idea truly is my baby, this time I’ll be working on it in complete silence. Like Drake would say “I wasn’t hiding my idea from the world, I was hiding the world from my idea” lmao!

please cue in quotes from entrepreneurs

that failed many times

but we now use their innovations on a daily

**Sleeps calling

 

3:58am

Why is it that depression can attack you on any day at any time; like right now at 3:58am.. I’ts not surprising any more, in fact, I’m use to it….I’ll be sleeping in a pool of my tears tonight.

 

Update 6:05am. I made it